In the Mall - Showing financial restraint

So today we went to Ann Arbor because Austin had an appointment for orthotics. Afterwards we trekked to the mall. A very nice and fancy mall. They had your typical stores that every mall has anchor their building like Sears/Penney's/Macy's but also had your high end stores like Coach, Godiva Chocolate, and an APPLE STORE! I love to go mall walking and just looking at all the stores and was good only buying Austin a pair of shoes at Von Maur. Another high end store, they pay a lady to play a grand piano instead of blasting us with elevator music through a sound system. But even this posh mall has it's ghetto alley. You know the wing in the mall that has all the little islands like the hand cream person, the 5 minute chair massage, the sunglass hut, the inadequate cell service square, the come sit in my jacuzzi tub, the let me sell you a new roofing job, you catch my drift right? I loathe going down these wings where the salespeople are like vultures. I walk as fast as I can, thinking "don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact"...before they can get you with the "is your hair naturally straight, do your nails flake off, can I just have 5 minutes of your time, MOVE MOVE MOVE before they get me. Because lets face it, I'm a sucker and I am easily pushed into high pressure sales.

In the 6th grade a vacuum salesmen came to the house and my Dad must have told him no on this $1600 Kirby vacuum about 10 times. The guy wouldn't leave, brought the price down to $800, was practically crying that he wouldn't be getting his monthly bonus if he didn't sell this one last vacuum and who knows what other junk he told us but I probably figured he had starving children at home or something. I begged Dad to buy this vacuum because the guy seemed so desperate...And he did buy it. And I know now that my Dad couldn't afford an $800 vacuum, I remember him having to borrow money from my Grandparents to buy a furnace. Sad thing is we really weren't quite the housekeeping family and I don't know how many times that vacuum was actually used. Dad does have a cleaning lady these days.

So when it comes to high pressure sales I know I might as well just buy it off the get go. I have extreme difficulty saying no. Stanley Steamer comes to clean our carpets every year and Joe tells me...DON'T BUY ANY OTHER SERVICE. Well they'll do a patch on the sofa and it comes back dirty black...SOLD! The kids must spill a lot on the carpet, it needs a protectant sealer...SOLD! I think one year my $100 coupon special ballooned to a $250 deluxe cleaning. I caught heck for that one. It's why I hate salespeople. The darn Scott's Lawn Service people get me every time too. Grubs, winter mold, and the latest mud worms. What the heck are mud worms??? And how devastating can they be to our lawn?

I really do feel for these people just trying to make a living, I know they probably despise their jobs and us cruddy customers. I hate being openly rude to these salespeople so I've learned the art of being evasive, look away as if the salespeople were medusa, screen my phone calls, don't answer the door when Scott's comes, they can't add a service if I don't approve it, hide, hide, hide!!!

On a nicer note, I never turn down local charities, or kids doing fundraisers. Or should I say I don't hide from them. I'll always happily buy a raffle ticket, or a pizza kit, or cookie dough, or donate my pop bottles, or whatever else they are trying to fund. Because just like I can't say no, I hate being told no when I'm trying to fundraise for my kids. Dealing with rejection is a whole nother post. ;)

Now if I could just work on the art of saying No Thank You without the guilt.

JoDa - XII

Today is our 12th wedding anniversary. I can honestly say I'm happier now than I was 12 years ago. You all know it hasn't been a whole 12 years of a perfect dream marriage but we've been solid and I'm thankful for my wonderful hubby.

Half of 12 is 6 and on our wedding day Fr. Jim told us there are 6 little words that can help us get far in our marriage.

I AM SORRY - I FORGIVE YOU

Over the last 12 years I've probably uttered the "I am sorry" part more than Joe has and thankfully he will always say, albeit cheeky sometimes, "I forgive you." It definitely works on healing during those times where gosh darn one of us just screws up.

For me, I think every married couple should go to a wedding every year if possible. For real, who can't imagine themselves on their own wedding day when they are sharing in another couples happiness? And it's fun to think back to your own wedding and say "good gravy the styles have changed!"

To Josephus, thanks for being a wonderful life partner, and thanks for being such a great Dad to the kids too. I hope we last another MXII years. ;)

Here is an adorable picture that Tommy just took of us. Can you figure out what we two geeks are doing? A gold cyber-star for the person who guesses correctly.

Golf Tales

The 8th annual St. Elizabeth School golf outing was this weekend. It's always an interesting deal. Joe and I have either golfed or helped at most of the outings. And once again we came home with lotso toilet paper.

We added Doug and Lisa to our trio this year hoping to up our game and improve on our ladies 36 over par from last year. It was also going to be less tiresome because we wouldn't have to take turns double hitting a ball because we were short a player and it was a scramble. Lisa is also a great softball player/natural athlete so we thought we were in! Our hopes were dashed when she arrives with 2 clubs, her 9 year old sons U of M half size driver and a putter.

None of us had golfed since the last outing but we had high hopes. All of our first hits were pretty much crap and I even lost that first ball I hit but that my friends would be the only ball I would lose. Maybe we would only be in the 20's over par as Amy blasted a beautiful hit right on the green hoping to save par but all of us couldn't putt to save our life and we were 4 over par on our first hole. Hmm...4 x 18 would equal a whopping 72 over par. We were not off to a good start. Thankfully we did do better. Amy could drive that ball so well and the rest of us had a few good shots as well. However, our golf savior was also sporting a broken foot and started fizzling out towards the end. We ended up about 34 over par...we think. We didn't golf the last three holes because Jill was sick, Amy's foot was killing her, and Lisa & I were bushed shooting double all the time. Wimps. We easily won the last place toilet paper. The guys also repeated as last place champs with 17 over par. They declined heavily since last year, at least us girls seemed to maintain our chumpness.

The Pranks - You know it would not be an outing without trying to pull off a few pranks. I needed an ally this year so I couldn't be ganged up on 3-1 so I let Amy in on a few ideas. We got a few exploding balls which backfired on us as Jill & Lisa confiscated one and got Amy to hit one. Too bad she initially whiffed and only had a little white powder streak. She did hit it again and we got the full baby powder poof effect. We also played the game of "unhooking" the golf clubs and watching them fall off the cart a few times. The best was when we were on the break time at the clubhouse for a hot dog and when we took on the carts and off Jill's clubs go flying. Glorious as there was quite the audience.

Probably the best golf investment I've ever made had to be the purchase of an $11 air horn. We first get Lisa on the Mulligan/Vegas hole. (Yay for more audience) Lisa gets in her back swing and "HONK" slice goes her ball about 20 feet. Yup, 20 whopping feet. It was great! We later got Jill on the air horn and they attempted to get me. Julie came and confiscated it and tried to get the guys but it didn't phase Dennis who couldn't golf for sh!t that day according to Joe. Later in the afternoon we see a couple on the tee next to us and we teach their kids so Jill gets the air horn, and times it perfectly sending Jeff's ball sailing. It was quite comical. They played mixed and ended up winning the couples division by 2 shots with no help from us. I guess that was the only hole they bogey'd all day. Hilarious!

The bad thing about pulling all this off is you know they will try and get you back. Let's see while trying to shoot, I get a club up my skorts by Jill, Lisa uses a club as a samurai sword to stop me in my swing, and at one point they start pelting me with golf balls. By the 5th hole I was feeling pretty paranoid. ;)

The Bet - Teeing off on a hole with a hill, Jill & Lisa had already had a couple brews and I dared Jill that she wouldn't roll down the hill. You know how one beer can just totally make you lose your inhibitions well lo and behold she did. Unfortunately, immediately afterward she ended up massively sick. By the 14th hole she was done, totally baked. I think she missed most of the back 9. Here it is for your viewing pleasure. Don't mind my squeaky voice.



Overall it was a great day and we raised about $5000 for our school. The weather was gorgeous and it's always fun to get out with great friends for some fun and exercise. The kids got to go to their old babysitter's and had a good time so it was a great day for all! I like our once a year golfing, I think we'd be banned from the course if we were league golfers.

Professor Austin

I know that no one will believe me but the kid has been the devil the last couple days. The glasses are only going to make things worse as I think they've multiplied his cute factor by 1000x. He really will be able to get away with murder.

Some videos

For your viewing pleasure.

First up, Austin loses his first tooth.


And Ashley getting around. It's time to clean up the living room as no cables, books, or anything else that might be laying around is safe. At least we have a sunken living room so she'll be contained for a few more months.


These videos brought to you by the IPhone 3Gs

The finesse of being dumb.

Beware...insomniac drivel ahead. Proceed with caution.

There is a method to my madness at times and playing the incompetence card has gotten me quite far in life. The art of it is riding that fine line between coming off as a bit confused to looking like a stupid dumb ass. Or as the POTUS says, a stupidly dumb ass.

I blame my father...he is the super heavy weight champion of the world in the game of incompetence. It's much easier for my Dad to screw something up just once and then have Joe or some other unlucky sap have to deliver him from here on out. Of course he has found the trump card in getting Joe over to do his dirty work, i.e. fix his treadmill, figure out the cable box, look at his car...he simply has to call and say why don't you guys come over and I'll buy food, food, food!! He knows that we'll never say no to the Colonel's mashed potatoes and gravy and like crazy suckers off we trek and while the boys and I eat, Joe gets stuck fixing something that Dad probably should have done himself and usually the potatoes are gone by the time Joe gets to sit down to eat. Poor Joe. My Dad is a flipping genius!

Key points in my game of incompetence include but are not limited to the following.

1 - Ask tons of questions. After a while the person answering will usually say "how about I help you do that" and usually that translates into "let me do this for you before you majorly screw it up!"

2. Ask one "key" question. "Honey, where do you keep a hammer?" I know darn well where Joe keeps his hammer. Asking for a hammer then opens up the dialog of "why do you need a hammer?" "I just want to hammer some large screws in our walls and hang pictures." "There are picture hanging kits for that." "What are picture hanging kits." "Don't worry I'll do it." Bada boom bada bing ching.

3. Screw something major up just once. I am no longer in charge of balancing the checkbook because I did something bad years ago that I can't remember. Worked though.

4. Cry - works every time.

5. Feign major worry about doing a good job. If others see you are making yourself ill over doing something they will usually step up and do it for you or at least help you out. At the very worst, if you do indeed screw it up, it'll be more forgivable.

6. Live by the mantra of under promise and over deliver. You will shock people this way. Sometimes this ruins your cover though. My cooking is a good example of this. If people expect nasty crap than they'll be pleasantly surprised to find something quasi-edible waiting for them.

Okay, so I'm not the smartest cookie to crumble. So what of it? I do wish I was less naive and gullible. I will believe about anything you tell me. I'm also crazy forgetful. It's a horrible trait but like the incompetence my friends know how to get by this character flaw. They will use an intermediary to get things done. After telling me did you ever do "such and such" and me proclaiming "no, but I will"(many times over)... friends know to ask Joe "did your wife ever do such and such" and that usually lights a fire under me. For this week, yes I finally turned in that receipt that's been in my wallet for over a month. Yes, I got the salt shaker cap out of my purse. Yes, I sent Tommy's hockey camp registration in. Yes, I turned in our golf registration.

I guess I'm lucky that I have a husband who puts up with my crazap and doesn't put me down too much for it. And I'm thankful my friends haven't bailed on me yet either. And FTR - if anyone ever wanted to get Joe a t-shirt that says "I'm with Stupidly" I'd completely understand.

Our Crazy Week ~ Happy & Crappy Style

Happy - Ashley has been sleeping well again and so have I.

Crappy - Our basement flooded due to a sump pump switch failure and monsoon rains. We are still drying out.

Happy - Austin lost his first tooth! He was so brave letting Ms.Jill yank it for him.

Happy - Tommy lost his 7th tooth!

Crappy - I flunked my EKG at my doc's office.

Happy - A visit to the cardiologist and running on the hamster wheel gave me the all clear.

Crappy - Little Stellan the Internet celebrity is doing poorly again with his SVT. So many people are praying for him to recover. I know many of you readers are following him too. It just breaks my heart.

Happy - Our ball team is doing well. We won our first game yesterday and got rained out the 2nd game. We'll try to finish out the tourney next Sunday.

Crappy/Happy - It pretty much rained all last week but we did need it so it's all good.

Happy - We had two awesome parties at the Bojo's. One with the school staff, one with the ball team.

Crappy - My Mom's van broke down when we were at Sam's Club. What a day...

Happy - Cleaning the basement I've found more memento boxes. Who can say that they still have the shirt they were wearing when they shared a first kiss with their future wife? Joe also has his Chuck E Cheese uniforms, his Super Science Team shirts, and other crazy shirts. Our kids are going to be spitting someday cleaning out all our crap. I can just see the garbage pile that day.

Happy - I'm looking forward to the St. Elizabeth golf outing this weekend with the Bojo, Muylle, and Wark families. FORE!

Happy - I learned how to play "Spoons." I don't know how I managed to live 31 years without being schooled in this.

Crappy - Due to the sump pump crisis I had to sacrifice the big sale at JCPenney's and the closeout at Education Express! DOH! I was looking forward to the Penney's sale. :( I'm sure I'll live.

Crappy - My house looks like a hurricane hit.

Crappy - My van looks like a hurricane hit.

Happy - I found the rest of the baby toys we'd packed away in the basement.

Happy - I have no appointments the rest of the week!

Happy - Ashley's a healthy little critter. 25 inches, 14.4 lbs at 4 months. She handled her shots like a champ.

Happy - We are going to Disney World in 27 days!!

I guess life is still good with the Happy's winning over the Crappy's. But I tell you what after the prime of my life post things kind of went south and I feared I had jinxed myself. Sleep - bad, Heart - Broken, Basement - Flooded, Flower Garden - Weedy, Diapers - failing. Hahaha, no life is still good. Be thankful for everyday.

Keep praying for Stellan, I know things for his family are definitely not good right now.

6:20 ADD CRAPPY - Our grill just burned up but thankfully our dinner hadn't been thrown on yet! Like major flamage and smokage, Joe putting it out with the garden hose kind of fire! Our neighbor came out and says "I guess you'll be eating your steaks well done." Isn't he witty. ;) Hardy har har! His grill is open right now maybe we'll be heading over there. My mercy it's been a rough week! Joe was calm, I was less than calm. I kept waiting for the propane tank to blow! What on earth will happen next?

Happy - Oh yeah, and Happy Belated 2nd Birthday to my blog. :)