Austin will be ok...

Wow no blog post from me in years....

Tomorrow is Austin's last day of high school - it's been a bit of an emotional day and few weeks for me which is kind of rare but alas it is what it is.  You take yourself back to those days when he was a baby and you didn't think he'd make it...Then the brain damage realization...The CP diagnosis...Oh so many unknowns. 

Tonight I was thinking I'd like to see if I could find some pictures of him on this blog. One of my earliest entries (July 27, 2007) was a 3 AM post about Austin's early life struggles and I had a moment earlier that day where I had said "it's nights like tonight that I think Austin will be ok."  Almost 14 years after that post I am in awe thinking that he's graduating and during a global pandemic to boot.  

One thing that has been a constant since October 2003 - worry - worry about my Austin.  The words the docs used "severe retardation, severely handicapped" they jar you forever.  Would he talk?  Would he walk? Could he function in this big, blue world?  And yes he did - and I'm thankful he's done so amazing.  I remember thinking he'd never even go to a regular school and my goodness he is going to take his last high school exam tomorrow.  Thursday night I will be at that football field watching him graduate and I know I will for sure be emotional.  And you know what I do not care.  He's fought through so much.  He goes without so much.  This week was a week of fun - bike to school, tractor to school, TP the school, so many things he'd love to participate in but physically he can't.  Poor kid never ever complains though.  I don't know how I got so lucky with him.  He's still a little worry wart - and I know he is terrified about college.  He cried the first day of school every year forever - even in some of his first days of high school - he'll probably cry his first day of college.  But like he keeps doing over and over - he'll persevere through it.  Will he graduate college?  I don't know.  High School was supposed to be a stretch but his wonderful teachers and staff got him through it.  And honestly - he didn't just survive - he thrived.  He loves those teachers and I love them too - the administration and office staff as well.  Everyone has done amazing things for my Austin and I'm so thankful for that.  It helps that he genuinely is a very nice boy.  He'd never be mean to anyone and does try very hard.

His next goal for the summer is to find a job - which jobs are a plenty right now but again what can you do with one arm?  I guess we will just have to wait and see.  I just know that wherever he ends up - there isn't a doubt in my mind that he will work hard and do it the best of his abilities. 

Finally - Austin will probably never ever read...this but if he does here's some special words for him...

Austin Joseph Papesh - I love you and am proud of you.  You've brought so much joy to our family and have taught others so much.  I can't wait to see what the next step in your journey takes you. It's a short walk across that graduation stage but wow it comes after the end of super long and sometimes tiresome and agonizing journey.  You are a model to look up to! Again I love you so much. I am so excited to take you to Disney in August with our family - it grew quite a bit didn't it? haha.  Don't just be "okay" my sweet Austin - BE AWESOME my sweet boy - Austin from Boston the Elephant Stingray.  You are capable of more than you know and I love you so, so much!  Your world is waiting for you and your family will be here with you every step of the way cheering you on! *blue heart!

PS - Take God on that journey with you too - you've been a Blessing to me and to many others and I thank him every day for you!