I continue to be amazed at the kindness Joe and I have been shown since the loss of Autumn. When we first found out she was sick I wanted to hide it and was embarrassed that I was carrying an imperfect child. Soon though I was showing and had to "come out" and it was honestly a relief to not have to hide it. I can't imagine how I would have gotten through it without others. It was silly of me. Just when I thought things were calming down in her regard I've had four days in row where we've received something in her memory. People are so good, and just so caring. It's really been a growing experience for me. I think Joe and I are doing amazingly well and I know that it's because of the love that we've been shown. I'm just so grateful for everything!
I still have my downer moments of course but thankfully they are infrequent. I need to edit my Babycenter profile, every Monday I get my new email. Yesterday's stated that I was 21 weeks pregnant and our baby was probably dancing the night away moving about 50 times an hour. That was the most awesome thing about expecting, feeling that little bugger move. I know I shouldn't read them but I just like to hear how things would be if we had a different outcome. I get angry about the whole thing when I think about being almost 1/2 way through it when she died. You are pregnant for what seems like forever; I know in the grand scheme of life it's not long but when it comes to pregnancy I'm the most impatient person there is. And not because pregnancy is hard on me physically because it's not, but I just can't wait for that baby to get here and be a part of my family. And another thing, I'm surrounded by pregnant people & babies and it's driving me insane! ;) Not really, but come on. My best friend delivered in October, another friend & my niece delivered in November, I have another friend due in February, one of Joe's coworkers just had a baby last week. I'm seriously happy for these people, especially two of the couples who waited years and had fertility treatments before finally conceiving. I know I need to consider myself lucky that I have my two boys but darn it I want my May baby!
I quickly ground myself from these crazy feelings when I think of how bad things could be. One poor lady on my CP board lost her son this weekend. He was a little younger than Austin and battled a long time. I can't imagine going through that horror. So for you praying people if you could keep Anna and her family in your prayers I know she would appreciate it.
*** A few tidbits!
I think poor Joe might be sick because he brought me a beer he opened to drink. He is on a diet and while the beer sounded good after a wild night teaching the cub scouts I guess he decided he didn't want it/need it afterall.
I've made it all 5 days to school early. It's great and I'm on a roll! I'm also helping Joe get to work on time in the process! Yay!
Global warming officially hit MI yesterday as the mercury hit 60. I took my students for a walk without coats. They were nuts yesterday!
I beat GH3 medium the other night! Joe says I have no life! Ha, he's just jealous!
And I almost forgot the most important thing of all. My cleaning lady returns from vacation on Thursday! THANK THE LORD!!!!!!!!!! It's been 4 weeks since our house was cleaned and it needs it desperately!